I’m allergic to bread, pasta, pizza, cookies, cakes, brownies, croissants, donuts and all other forms of delicious goodness.
Which is funny if you knew me at age 9 and 10 when I used to grind flour in a machine and make homemade whole-wheat bread and sell it to the AWANA leaders at church.
I was so proud of that damn bread. An entrepreneur at age 10!!
In my teen years I sold bread made from that same recipe at farmers markets. I had a following but decided it was to much work to make 20+ loaves of bread every Friday night and sit out in the sun on Saturday mornings vs sleeping in.
10 years later I would again try to make bread but I was living in Houston (not Maryland) and it was baked in a small oven in an RV I lived in for 5 years.
I was reminded of all this today when I read the sentence “I’ve taken the Wonder Bread of teachings I was given as a child, and I’m mushing them down, rolling them up, into these doughy morsels:”
I think I’ve done the same thing. My conclusions are also probably much the same as hers. But instead of being all metaphorical and spiritual I just thought about my journey with bread and all the crazy diets I (and my family) have tried.
There was that one where we only ate what Adam and Eve would have eaten in the Garden of Eden.
Which is just F***ing ridiculous. Basically because I had never heard of Dragon Fruit and Dragon fruit is AHHHHH MAZING!!! And no Garden of Eden diet could possibly be complete without it.
That diet didn’t last long. I hope we didn’t eat bread on that diet. I’m pretty sure it hadn’t been invented then.
I’d like to think I’m done with stupid fad diets and am mature enough to just make eating healthy a way of life.
(insert hyena laughter here).
I’m older now and know better than to follow raw food diets, lemonade cleanses, cabbage soup diets, hallelujah diets, and the assortment of food fads that cross my social media news feeds.
I’d also like to think I’ve owned my food binges (looking at you Amy’s Ice Cream. I’ll be by Saturday night). My need for fries dipped in queso, wine to unwind, chocolate cheesecake and that chocolate waiting for me when I’m done writing.
Obviously I haven’t.
But I’m okay with that.