The past does not define me

A few months ago i wrote several things about my childhood. They are still here, unedited. And will most likely stay posted here. 
Many people have asked me if I think my parents wanted the best for me. Or if i think they were out to hurt me.

The truth its that I’ve come to a place where it doesn’t matter. Those are not answers i need.

My childhood and past does not define who i am. I don’t understand it yet but I’m coming to believe that my past is what i need for the life God has for me.

Of you are screaming at me right now because of that last sentence i completely get it. I did the same.

My past does not allow me to demand i be treated special or different. I enter into potentially triggering and hurtful situations open and vulnerable, knowing that my reaction is based on issues in my life and heart and not on the people or events surrounding me.

I’m not glorifying or saying pain or hurt is good, or even that my childhood was good. i believe God is good and that He loves me.  I can rest in His love and trust that my past is not in vain.

 

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About Michelle

I'm Michelle. I'm an extrovert city girl who grew up in the beautiful farm country of the East Coast and moved to Houston Texas 6 years ago. Stepping out, being known and letting myself be seen are some of the scariest and most frightening things I’ve done and that's what my blog is about. View all posts by Michelle

2 responses to “The past does not define me

  • graceinthemoment

    Amen. We can either keep living from our place of woundedness or live from freedom — found healing in Christ!

    • Michelle

      What this post, and really my blog, has been about is the path of seeking healing. Growing up the pat answer was ‘Jesus’ or ‘God’. While true, yes, Jesus brings healing, I’ve come to believe it’s also a choice we each make to seek and step into that healing. It’s not a prayer which is super frustrating sometimes. Yes, talking with God is part of the journey, but again, it’s a pat easy answer.
      Healing is messy, hard and long. I say this while thinking that someone just had to remind me of that this week because I wanted fast answers.
      There are a lot of tools but each path is different because each past is different.

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