This past weekend I heard several references to Birth. Not physical birth. The metaphor of birth. It reminded me of something I wrote a few weeks ago.
I’m not the number 1 fan of book groups (though they do have a place of course) and online book groups seem to not work all that well. But in December I jumped into an online group discussing the book ‘Jesus Feminist’ by Sarah Bessey.
Truth? I did it as an excuse to buy the book. I’m not sorry I did either.
One of the questions was understanding the metaphor of birth and pregnancy connected to God’s story and this is my response:
This is crazy because I’m the girl you do NOT want to tell your birth story to. GROSS!! All my friends know this.
But I’m now understanding what this means. I feel this whole birth thing happening as I’m experiencing the pains of letting go and surrender and the amazing freedom/life/inner joy/peace/self discovery after letting go. It’s so painful you guys. My shit is all over the place… going back to people in my past and telling them difficult stuff, telling my parents about my life and the last few years, not hiding how I’m feeling and coming out with my addictions and my past… there are times I think I can’t do it.
But there is no choice. I can’t say no. It’s just pushing ahead, keep moving, knowing it has to end somewhere. And knowing it will be worth it.
I still don’t want to hear birth stories though. Anything medical will gross me out.