Monthly Archives: February 2014
Good Christian girl
Frozen by shame
Addicted to pain
Feel like a fraud
Hiding in anger
Today I want to wallow in my shit and the external things that are happening around me. I want to focus on myself and the pain and hurt.
And then went through my emails.
“Today, vow to press deeper into the true reality and nature of your Self and all things. Explore this. Loosen your attachments upon this world, and discover that which has no beginning or end, and is the source of true peace, freedom, and well-being.” – Jim Palmer
‘”Ignorant” used to be a fairly vague epithet, one that we often misused to describe someone who disagreed with us. Today, because it represents a choice, the intentional act of not-knowing, I think it carries a lot more weight.’ – Seth Godin
That’s me. I don’t want to know (but I do) and I can choose to be ignorant today or just stop and realize the truth.
This weekend my husband surprised me with a trip to New Orleans to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary (it’s crazy it’s been 5 years!!).
Last night I stepped out of a restaurant on the edges of Jackson Square and was waiting for my husband when I heard violin music and it called me over to listen.
I sat down on the steps in front of St Louis Cathedral and watched a man around his 20’s play the most beautiful music I’ve heard in a very long time. A minute later my husband joined me and we listened through several pieces.
I’m not sure I’ve ever cried listening to music before.
These are a few pictures from this weekend.
The hotel we stayed at. If you look back to last weeks post ‘Stories’ and read the story ‘dreams’ this picture captures part of that so well it was startling.
This artwork is in a small coffee shop off Royal Street. It caught my attention partly because of the names.
This cat was on the patio at the coffee shop of Royal Street. This shop reminded me so much of Taft Street Coffee.
St. Louis Cathedral in front of Jackson Square.
Last year we did a ghost tour (which actually contained a lot of the history of New Orleans). Many of the buildings have legends and stories of being haunted. People take this seriously there and some won’t walk on certain streets because of the ghosts stories.
Process of healing
I feel God taking me by the hand and leading me to the next thing, the next pile of shit to sort through in my life. And I feel Him lead me right to the middle and sit down with me. Sometimes He pulls me down because I see what we are sitting in and I want to run. I feel Him with me, holding me, as He hands me item after item, letting me do whatever I need to. Hurl it out of sight (though it never actually leaves till I really deal with it) or hold it or hide it or cringe at or ignore it.