Asking

Over the last few years I’ve found there are ‘normal’ things that are hard for me to do. I realize I’m not special in this. My things may be different then other peoples and they are things I think should come easily. One of those is asking for what I want and need. I get scared and when I sink deep into that fear and let myself fully feel it I realize those fears are not real and I can dive into them knowing that my story is once again trying to protect me. 

My story says that I can’t ask because if anyone knows what I really want it will be taken from me. It’s showing my hand/cards and will be used to punish me. My story also says that I’m not worth getting what I want. I cannot ask because I need to work for what I have. Gifts do not come without strings and if I accept your gift you could pull those strings at anytime and I will be hurt – my heart will be hurt. 
 
To let myself ask is to let down the self protective wall I have built around me from the many experiences of being hurt. And to let myself receive (even if that’s receiving a no) is to let you speak truth into my story. The truth that I AM worth loving. 
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About Michelle

I'm Michelle. I'm an extrovert city girl who grew up in the beautiful farm country of the East Coast and moved to Houston Texas 6 years ago. Stepping out, being known and letting myself be seen are some of the scariest and most frightening things I’ve done and that's what my blog is about. View all posts by Michelle

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